New Drama...

ok so i officially have new drama!!! so i have been liking this boy for the longest of time now. well actually i have been crushing on him since the beginning of senior year and the only reason why we didnt do anything is because he had a girlfriend and i wasnt about that cheating stuff. but anyways i graduated about a month ago and he just broke up with his girlfriend. now i know your probaly wondering how is this a problem right? well its a problem because i am going away to texas for college and he is staying here... and i just dont know if i could honestly make long distance work... i dont even know if he could make long distance work... and we have been talking for a while and last night he asked me whats going to happen with us and i really dont know. i just dont know if its even worth starting a relationship over. i just dont want to start something here with him then go off to texas and feel tied down to home. and i wouldnt even know what he would be doing because its not like we go to the same school or anything anymore... we are going to be two states away from eachother!!! and its like an 18 hour drive from here to there and i just dont think i could do that. and another problem is that when he was with his girlfriend he was still trying to start something up with me and i wasnt for that so im thinking what if he finds someone he likes in college and starts doing to me what he did to her... what if he wants to be with someone else but wont break up with me just like he did her? i really dont know... i am just so stuck right now. maybe i just need to keep writing because this is really helping ALOT... welp thanks for your ear!!! or eyes!! lol bye blogger!!!!

i was bored!!!!

June 1. 2011

ok so my like has been very interesting these past few months. i think that i am going to go on a vacation for a little while... ok so i just graduated from south mountain high school like about a good three weeks ago. and since then i have had my ups and downs but i think the worst thing that could have ever happened to be was yesterday when i found out the boy that i really liked and thought we were actually gonna be something with has a girlfriend who he is very much in love with. i9 think that was the most low down dirty shameful thing someone could have ever done to me. i think the reason it is getting to me like this is because i really like him and i really wanted to be with him and i believed his little story about him not wanting to be in a relationship right now because his heart was still broken from the last one. i really believed him and i think thats where i went wrong. that is where i let my guard down and made myself look stupid because now im the one alone. he is still in a relationship and doing just fine with her but im the one still single with my heart broken for the second time by him. fool me once sham on you fool me twice shame on me. i mean i never would have thought he could or would do something like this to me. i think the number one mai reason i am getting so mad at this whole situation is because he could have said yo can we just be friends right now because i am in a relationship and i do love her very much. i mean it still would have hurt a little bit but i would have respected that and got over him but instead of him doing that he lied to me.., TWICE!! and i believed him time and time again and i just think its time i move on from him. thats why i am so glad that i am going to school in texas away from everyone and all this drama . it is going to give me a chance to try something new. meet new people... do new things. and get away from all of this heartbreak.

The Pussycat Dolls - I Don't Need A Man

11-16-2010

So i know that i haven't really been writing in a long time... well on the internet at least. I have been writing on and on in my journal. If your wondering what's been happening with me and the "John Tucker" situation, nothing has been happening at all. Im over that. i see no time in waiting around for something to happen that i know for a fact wont happen. Thats just me. and now we aren't even really friends. we just tolerate each other. So this weekend was pretty interesting because i got to kick it wit my ex... It was a little weird at first but then i got over it. We kicked it till about four in the morning on saturday and then we turned around and did it all again on sunday. I had alot of fun!!! I just don't think that we could ever be together again though because it was too much. We were perfectly good friends though. so m gonna go now and update you some more when i get home tonight cause i gotta go to lunch... TTFN!!!!

UnNormal

So im going to do something a little different today... I want to talk about fake people. So yesterday this girl was sitting down at our table and she got up to go and get some ater. When she did another girl came and sat down in her seat. When the girl came back, she asked politely if she could have her sat back, thats when the other girl said no. go sit somewhere else. And the girl finally took her stuff while the one that took her seat just nlaughed and talked shit the whole entire time with her little hyenas... So me being the person i am got mad and said that them two were extra fucked up for talking to her like that because they were mad about the same thing the week before. So now im not talking to either one of them because that was stuypid and i could care less about either one. And now they call themselves talking shit about me behind my back!! Seriously!!! Grow some balls and come say that shit to my face.... Silence? I thought so... Thats all. Hope everyone has a good day. I feel much better now!!!

11-9-10

I don’t know what to do now because everybody knows now (which is all my fault by the way) But there seems to be a few people that weren’t too happy with that. And I would honestly feel the same way though. I just kinda want to take back today and do it over. I should have never let everybody read that paper. I think I just got caught up in the moment, I let it all get to me. I do want to talk to him though because I just put his name all out there like that, which was pretty rude. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that because it’s like he was mad after that and didn’t talk to me at all. And it wasn’t one of those play- play mad either, it was something different, like I just don’t even care anymore its whatever. So I just completely fucked up another relationship. I tend to do that a lot though. So now all I want to do is talk to him and make sure he is ok with the fact that im writing about him publicly with people we know reading it. Especially now that everyone in our little crew knows. I can’t help thinking that I really fucked this one up, big time, I honestly feel bad about it!!! It’s like… everything was going good before I made this stupid thing. We were all going back to the way it was at the beginning of the school year.

          In closing, I think im just gonna forget about it. Go back to being friends because I don’t like awkward situations and I don’t like messing up friendships so I am just going o wash my hands with the whole thing. We are better off as friends anyway. That’s the best thing to do right about now.